When I Met with Acceptance in My Facilitation Journey

 

When I Met with Acceptance in My Facilitation Journey

Today, I want to share my thoughts and experiences around acceptance. In my last training session, I became very reflective about my acceptance skills. I kept asking myself, Do I truly have acceptance, or do I simply say that I accept things quickly?

One thing I realized is that when someone shares their thoughts, I accept them — but often I follow up with questions. Perhaps this makes others feel that I haven’t truly accepted what they said.

Let me take you back to that training. After the tea break, a participant from another batch joined my session. I asked him to return to his group, but he didn’t want to leave. So I decided to proceed with my session. However, my attention kept shifting to him. His presence was changing the dynamic of the group, and I began feeling like I was losing my ability to hold the group together.

For almost thirty minutes, this participant created disturbances, and I found myself struggling to accept him fully. Deep down, I felt that I wanted something from the group — something that wasn’t happening — which created my unease.

Here, one thing that stayed with me — or rather, something I have already been working on — was understanding and accepting my own feelings. This is a strength I’ve developed, and it gave me the awareness to recognize that I was feeling discomfort in the moment and also to accept that feeling instead of ignoring it. That awareness was very important for me because it allowed me to acknowledge my inner struggle rather than pushing it away.

To address this discomfort, I paused and brought everyone back to our earlier agreements. I opened a discussion about the “broken agreements” and asked the group some questions. I asked, “As a supportive community, do you all feel supported?” Everyone replied “yes.” Then I asked, “Do you also feel that we, as facilitators, are part of this supportive community?” They again replied “yes,” as we had discussed this before the tea break. Finally, I asked, “Do you feel that I am feeling supported by you as part of this community?”

That last question led to a brief silence — one where participants thought carefully. Even the participant who had joined from the other batch became quieter.

In that silence, I kept wondering where I had failed. One thing I realized was that I hadn’t really welcomed him properly, nor had I taken the time to understand his needs. Perhaps I needed to revisit the agreements we had established before the tea break and reintegrate him into the group’s journey.

Reflecting on this experience, I asked myself again whether I truly practice acceptance. I thought about this overnight and concluded that acceptance is something everyone possesses, including me. However, I also realized that acceptance must have its boundaries. If we endlessly accept everything, it can eventually impact our well-being.

Acceptance is a skill we all have, and so are boundaries. Within those boundaries, we can uplift ourselves and others. It’s not easy — it’s a practice I need to continue working on. Our boundaries are there to protect us as we grow and support those around us.




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